Life of Dana

Oh my gosh, getting married is a big hassle!! You have to decide the guests, where you want to have the wedding, what food you want to serve, what music, what flowers, what decorations, what cake, what party favors, who will your wedding party be, what are the wedding colors and OMG don't forget the wedding date!! *pant, pant*

So John and I have decided upon October 2007 for our wedding. We're waiting to find a place we really really like (and that my mom really wants to pay for) before we decide on the date. It looks like October 27th has been open where ever we go. Maybe we'll wait until November and get the discounted prices (ha ha).

John is laying beside me right now, his huge feet sticking out from underneath the covers. He's been sick today, vomiting and such with a fever and a back pain all day. I feel bad for him, he looks red in the face. I've tried to be the best fiance I can be and made him what he wanted, tucked him in whenever he lost his covers and got him whatever he wanted. Unfortunately, I'm not much help in his current state (asleep).

I don't know what's come over me, it's like the more responsibility I take on, the more resposibility I want. I'm trying to plan a wedding, buy a house, organize the social committee, organize a fitness club at school, look at getting another career AND take as many graduate classes as I can fit in. I don't know what's wrong with me.

I am, however, dead tired and should be getting some sleep. I'm down 6.5 pounds since January 1st. GOOOO MEE!!! :) The food is the hard part. Exercising won't be hard to do once I start back up again because I <3 it!!

Alright, I'm leaving now. I have to try to get some sleep. Night all.

Hope whoever is reading this gets a smile.

-Dana

I'm ENGAGED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, an update for those of you who don't know and may be interested...

I am working as a 6th grade Language Arts teacher this year. I'm going bonkers!!

I broke up with John about a month and a half ago because of committment issues among other things. It wasn't going to work out and I'm glad I took that step.

I have become the Head of the Human Relations Committee at school. I also joined the Technology Committee and have created a Blackboard Community site for the new teachers at my school. Also every Thursday (and probably every day after school soon) I hold TurboJam for any teachers who'd like to work out with me after school. (Speaking of TurboJam, I really need to work out today).

I put myself out there pretty soon after John and I broke up and have recently found someone I am interested in. His name is Alan. We'll see where this goes but I'm beginning to have my doubts that he is going to be the next guy (and possible husband). He seems to be a lot of talk and tends not to follow through with what he says. He has also showed a bit of a jealous side. A little jealousy is good but... extreme jealousy...is potentially dangerous and I don't want to be with that kind of person. I'm going to let things play out and see where it goes but I'm writing it now...I have some doubts. :)

What else? Hmm...I <3 my ipod. I have 3 stray cats that I feed every day. They're outside and look pitiful because it's raining outside. They're going to be miserable in the winter if we get snow this year. Poor things.

I think that's it. I don't have much else to say right now.

BYE!!

I've been going to Weight Watchers since January. As most of you know I'm constantly trying to slim down and conquer my junk food demons. Well, this past Friday I weighed in and I've achieved my 10% award! This is the first time I've reached this goal since joining and unjoining Weight Watchers. I'm fitting into things I haven't fit into since my freshman year in high school. I've joined a gym, I eat more healthfully... I'm feeling so great. 14 more pounds is my next goal. I plan on stopping there but might feel differently when I get there.

Here are some pics taken mere minutes ago.











Things with John are going well. I am hoping that he'll get around to asking me soon!! We get along so well, I'm very eager to get my life rolling. And I'm sure he's dreading it. Things will happen sooner or later.

I'm looking for a job in Elementary. Middle school was interesting. I remember what it was like to be in middle school now, and i know that I don't want to teach there!! They're not interested in learning. I had fun and I'll always remember my first year teaching, but I don't want to spend 3 more years there. Hopefully my interview on Monday will go well. I really want this job!!! Wish me luck!!!

That's all the news I have for now. Hope everyone is well!!

So here it is...the third day of March. I am home sick...not physically sick, but mentally. My job is so much more draining and frustrating than I ever thought it would be. I suppose it's just a teenager's deal to be completely disrespectful, vile, and above all, lazy. For the past few days I have been battling with these kids. It is a constant classroom struggle. They want so much but are unwilling to EARN it. They expect everything to be handed to them. Then there are the kids who struggle, everyday. They struggle so much that they have given up. They come to school because they have to, but they tune out any learning that might occur. So instead they find ways to amuse themselves. They steal, they sneak food, they call other children names. . . All they really want is to be normal. To not be the stupid kid. And as teachers we know that's what they really want, but we have no time to help them. They are so far behind that we can't help them. We have so many other students to look after, and to teach that we cannot be responsible for those one or two in every class who desperately need an intervention.

So there it is. My life. I am applying to elementary schools for next year. Middle school is a very tough age. I can cope, I just can't thrive there. I can't be happy there. So I must move on. Teaching students to cook and sew and manage their money has been fun. I will never forget my first year teaching. I will never forget my first group of kids. I wanted to murder most of them when I first met them, but after awhile they grew on me....I loosened up, pulled back on the reigns, and they came around to liking me. And now I miss them. They had things that at least I could expect. Now I'm dealing with all new kids who I have to gauge and train. It's very hard.

But I digress. :)

I am going tomorrow to hand over the security deposit for my new place. I'm so thrilled that I found exactly what I was looking for. John, my brother, and I will be living in a two bedroom townhome very close to Arundel Mills (YAY!). The washer/dryer is in the townhome, the neighborhood looks very nice and quiet. I'm very excited. We should be moving in sometime in May. My mom is trying to postpone my move for some reason. She was very angry with me last weekend and now it's like she doesn't want me to go. I think she enjoys having at least a little control over what I do. She realizes there won't be anyone around to help her with the house anymore, I think. Oh well. That's what happens.

What else to tell you... hmm...
I think that's all. Still no ring. No babies. Nothing very exciting on the love front. Just same old, same old. And I love the same old, same old. :)

Life has been going well. I can't complain, really. I have this really deep feeling that I should be doing something else with my time. Teaching is going ok, only minor complications, but I feel that I could be of better use somewhere else, touch people in a different way. I want to do more cooking. I've been watching the Food Network lately. And ever since I've seen Super Size Me I have this feeling that I should do something to stop obesity in young kids. It's a huge problem which is getting bigger every year. I firmly believe it's because of the processed foods that kids are eating now. But I've been yearning for something more. I want to help somehow.

Anyway, in other news, I have been losing weight again. I'm almost back to where I was in March. I then have 15 more pounds to lose before I'm satisfied. I'm so close. And I'm feeling so much better now that my diet has been changed again. Sugar tastes good but it cripples your body. I hope my kids never have to know what it's like to go up and down on the scale and have to worry about their weight. It's not a good way to live. I want to teach them to eat right and to eat things that will nourish their body, not just satisfy their taste buds.

My cats are doing good. They run around like crazy. Funny though, the spunky one isn't as spunky and the fat one isn't as fat. It's like they've traded spaces. For example, the fat one was just on my bed looking for attention, he runs up and down the long hallway several times a day. The spunky one is laying on his cat tower, sleeping. He ALWAYS seems to be sleeping. Coal is coal. He's been more distant but he still comes and asks for attention.

I'm so glad that fall is finally here. Today was cold and cloudy. I've missed this weather. I'm very ready for the cold weather so that I can wear warm, comfy sweaters. I love to watch the leaves change colors and fall from the trees.

John and I are doing very well still. It's going on... 10 months now!! WOW!! I can't believe it's been that long. I wish we could spend more time together, but we're doing the best we can. He has been down lately about school, he's ready to be out. I hope that he keeps up with his studies and just plows through so he can get it over with. He has the rest of his life ahead of him to work, he just needs to focus on his studies.

So, I picked up my curriculum today for the year. Boy am I in trouble!! I have to learn how to sew, definately. Two of the grades use the sewing machines. I should know how to use a machine in time. This first semester is going to be the hardest. But by the time I get the sewing basics under way I should be just fine. The cooking looks fun. And the other parts are nutrition and some stuff about babysitting. It all looks pretty fun. Just a little nervous about getting it all together. And the sewing...of course.

Other than that...I get my wisdom teeth taken out this Friday. I'll have four less teeth this time 5 days from now. I've been packing my apartment up for the past week and things are getting cleared out. I have several boxes packed and I feel like I haven't made a dent yet!! I have way too much stuff. And I got rid of several boxes of stuff with my yard sale.

I have been eating like there is no tomorrow and I'm regretting it. I tried to get some activity in today but it hasn't been much compared to the calories I've eaten today. My diet will kick in again when I move back home. That I promise myself. I can't continue on this self-destructive bingefest.

That's all I have to say for the moment.

I GOT A JOB!!!

I'll be a home ec teacher at MacArthur Middle School in Fort Meade. YAY me!! My first interview and I landed it! I rock!!

I'm very happy with everything right now. My love life is great. John got me a beautiful pearl and diamond necklace for my birthday. He took me to the zoo and we had dinner with his sister and her boyfriend. We'll be spending 4th of July at a Bowie Baysox game. I know it's not the Orioles but it's close enough to baseball for me, and hopefully for him too.

I move out of this apartment very soon and it's a little scary to think about. I have so many things that need to get done before I start my new job!! Yikes!!

That's all I really have to say.

WOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOO!!

So I took my first vacation with a boy this past weekend. Boy was it fun!! We went for a killer hike around the "Niagra of Pennsylvania" and saw a privately owned zoo. We ate at some good food and some not so good food. His car started smoking on our trip back to MD, but all in all it was good.

By the way, I must report that John and I almost never fight. I mean like...NEVER! Sarah commented the other day, "I think it's amazing that you two spend so much time together and never fight" So there you have it, straight from the mouth of Sarah, we never fight. Everyone loves John. He's such a good guy. My relatives approve, which isn't something that normally happens, the twin's parents approve...Lynn often asks me "So are you gonna keep him?" and my answer is, I would love to, but we'll see where life takes us.

I love this relationship. I love John. I live to make him happy and he does the same for me. We nurish each other. We care for each other. We do each other favors. We split the resonsibilities.

Interesting thing he said to me while on vacation and I'm sure some of us can agree with him... and I think it's true.

Dana you're like a filled doughnut. You never know what you're going to get until you bite into it.

I've been compared to a doughnut! But he's right. I have mood swings. On birth control, off birth control, they still happen. It's me!! I've been happier lately and I totally thank exercise. I'm going to start detoxing again soon. I really need to kick it back into high gear. It's just so hard to find time to go buy good whole foods and cook them. But I'm going to do it!! I have to! I've been seeing books about eating whole foods everywhere so I'm sure this is what I'm supposed to do.

Ok I'm done rambling for now. I have a job interview with a middle school next Tuesday, wish me luck!! And pray that Calvert County calls me soon for an interview!!

Take care!

-D

So I did it!! I'm graduating on Sunday!!! This is closure to one stage in life. Now I have so many doors that I can open and I have to pick one which will change my life forever. I'm very proud of myself. I scored a perfect on my portfolio. I have received 3 Distinguished evaluations from both my mentors and my university supervisor. I will be graduating with a GPA of at least a 3.5. I have health, I have love, I have friendship. My plans after graduation are to help at home with my father to complete the basement. I will be moving home around August with my 3 cats (so there will be a total of 5 at my parents house, yes they are all mine, I know it's kinda weird). My cousin is coming to visit MD the last week of June and I'm supposed to show her a good time. I'm planning on throwing a huge yard sale in my parents huge front yard the July 4th weekend with my cousin to help me. We'll see how that goes.

Lots of things are changing all at once. Being a teacher has its moments. It's so great to know that you have touched so many of the children. Especially when those children are sometime desolate and lonely. Some of them just cry out for love and it's a great feeling to know that you have given a child what they need.

As far as my relationship with John goes. I finally had slowed down enough yesterday to realize that I love John. I love him but I haven't told him yet and I'm scared to tell him. I don't want to scare him and I secretly don't want to be rejected again. I'm trying to tell myself to relax and to let things flow. Once I get past the summer and I become busy teacher lady again those things will get easier. I haven't decided yet if I want to work at the daycare again this summer, part time. I loved the kids I'm just not sure if I'm up to the challenge or that I want to work my last summer off before the real world hits me. I'll figure it out.

I have to get going...just wanted to document my feelings at this point.

A little update from me...

Student teaching is... a little crazy. Lots of responsibility and it's just flying by. I'm still contemplating a middle school job versus a Elm ed career. I'm certified to teach middle school, I'd just have to pick a subject and pass the praxis in it. I was thinking Social Studies...possibly Family and Consumer Science. We'll see about that. Still thinking...

My love life... It's going by, slowly. We don't get to spend much time together because of our schedules and other obligations but the time we do spend together is usually peaceful. It's nice to have someone around to cuddle with. I'm still trying to get to know him. I just want to get past the "honeymoon" period and find out what he's really all about.

My aunt passed away a few weeks ago. I'm happy for her that she is no longer suffering and that her soul has moved onto a better, happier place.

And if anyone read an away message that was a little...surprising, I'm not getting married. That's a long way off. I'm really not crazy.

Oh and one more thing...I've started a new diet and I've lost 11 pounds so far. I don't really like watching the scale, the physical changes are better for me, but the scale is a nice reinforcement. I was bad yesterday and ate 2 pieces of chocolate...they were soooo good. Then I layed down and slept from like... 7 to 6 this morning. I was really tired!!!

I hope everyone is doing wonderful in their lives. Take care.

Friday, January 14th, my 44 year old Aunt passed away after her fight with cancer. She is in a better place now and that comforts me. We weren't very close but it's still painful when someone you know passes. I cannot attend the funeral because of school, however I have thought of her and shed my tears...and everytime I sing "To Where You Are" or hear it I will think of her and she will be remembered...

First off...Happy birthday Jen!!! Sorry I wasn't able to make it out drinking with you, me and my beau kinda fell asleep at 9, we were very tired!!

I'm a third of the way through my mini-mester course, Intro to Family Studies. I am finding that this class is just what I needed. As some of you know the romantic side of my life is one that I value highly, I'm searching for my future husband so that my life can get under way. I want kids, a huge family, and a husband is a key player in the development of all this. So this class talks about love and marriage and dating... and I'm finding that perhaps I'm looking for the wrong KIND of love. The passionate all consuming love would be nice...but it's not practical, those things usually fade over time...they fizzle out, they die. I need to be looking for the commitment and the intimacy in my relationship. Passion is a bonus but not something to base your whole relationship on. If all three were present that would be wonderful, but again one should be ready for when the passion fades.

So bottom line, this class has been very helpful in me thinking about my future plans and how realistic I'm being in getting those goals met. I'm not going to rush anything, but it's good to think about.

Hmm, Coal and Cammy are still fighting. They can sit with each other in the same room for awhile before Coal chases Cammy down, I'm not sure they'll ever be best buds. :(

John and I are doing well. We've had some moments that I think brought us just a little closer together but we're still getting to know each other. My one fear is that down the road we find that we really click and that we are a good match and then I leave and nothing else ever comes of it...but that's a risk I'm going to have to take. I will not make long term plans with a guy like I did with you know who. It ended badly and I'm not willing to risk that hurt or feeling of helplessness again. I want to be independant and by moving to my parents house and paying off my loans and saving up for a house, I can do that. I won't be dependant on anyone but myself.

I think that's really all I have to say. I hope everyone is doing well. I need to get my day started. Bye!

John and I are doing well. We spent New Year's together babysitting the twins. They fell in love with him. He was on the floor with them playing with Elmo and frog puppets and balls and puzzles. He is such a sweet guy underneath his sometimes snide remarks. I know he means them all in good fun though. After the girls went to bed we sat up and watched Office Space. After that we tried to find something else on TV to amuse us until midnight rolled around. John opened his very first bottle of champagne and drank 3/4 of it. He said he didn't enjoy it very much and I suggested momosas...he still didn't seem too keen on the idea. We came back to my apt and putzed around for a little while before going to sleep.

We went for a walk yesterday and that was pretty enjoyable. He loves looking at architecture and listening to him talk about it is very entertaining. After the walk we went back to his place, he shower and then we went to my place, and I showered. And then we went out to dinner at the Macaroni Grill. He enjoyed the food there although he needs practice rolling spaghetti on his fork. He's not very good at that. It was quite entertaining though. He got a martini and I thought he was going to get excitement all over his pants, he enjoyed it *that* much. After the meal he stood up and nearly knocked the light from the ceiling, that was pretty amusing also. After that we went to Shoppers and then to Target... then we came home and...well, that's private information.

It's been almost a week since we've been going out...but almost a month,I think of knowing each other. I still have a lot of things to learn about him, and I'm seeing different sides to him everyday. It's interesting getting to know him and I'm having fun while doing it. I know that whatever happens with him, I won't regret it. Time will tell what happens between us.

I hope everyone had a great New Year.

Name: Dana
Birthday: June 19th, 1983
Birth Place: Orlando, FL
Marital Status: John. :)

Merry Christmas everyone!!! :)

Just a little update before I go off to my parents house for the next 24 hours or so.

What's been going on with me...

Well, I've been seeing a lot of this new guy. His name is John. He's a sweetheart deep down but tries to cover it up with lots of sarcasm. I'm finally ready to try the relationship thing again and I'm hoping the first guy to try it with again will be John. I've closed off all other ties that could possibly stand in the way or cause drama for myself and now I'm ready when he is.

I got a 4.0 this past semester and I'd like to think it's because I've been boyfriend-free...or it was just an easy semester...stressful though, I don't know. But I did it! A 4.0!

Um...Sarah moved in and our cats are still not quiet getting along. Coal is sleeping above me as I type because he was up all night trying to befriend Cammy...it didn't work. I woke up this morning and Coal was looking under the bed and Cammy was WAY under the bed backed into a corner...will they ever get along??? Sarah and I are getting along great so far. We keep the kitchen clean and we've played Uno Attack! and completed a puzzle in 2 nights. I think we're going to get along well. I just hope that I don't bother her with John coming over as much as he does. If that becomes an issue I'll gladly go see John more at his place or something. But I think it's working out great!

Hmm...I think that's about all the news I have. I hope everyone has a great holiday!!

Take care,
-Dana

With dating comes several options, and decisions. It's not easy having so many choices. It's like going to a clothing store when looking for something fabulous but you aren't quite sure what it looks like. Scanning over everything is too hard. And then you narrow it down to a few pieces, you go in the changing room and try some on. Do they fit ok? Is ok how you really want them fit? Or do you want something that makes you look smashing and accentuates all those fabulous parts? And...if you're just going for ok because don't know for sure yet how they'll fit when washed...then how do you decide which ones to bring home because lots of them look ok...

I can't really believe I'm sitting here comparing what I'm doing to clothes shopping...But I am. Do you wait for the store to carry the right item, not knowing what it will look like? Or do you try on ok pairs and bring some of those home to wear for awhile and see if maybe they are indeed something pretty darn close to what you were looking for?

Ok, so maybe this is just about one hot Italian, not more than one, but you know what?? I only got 3 hours of sleep last night, so ... blow it out your rear. I just wanted to write and say that I met a hot Italian last night and we went to dinner at Applebee's. I don't know if I actually got alcohol in my Margarita, the dude never carded me and I wasn't buzzed like I usually am after one of them. Maybe I was so sick it didn't affect me. I don't know. But anyway, we met and this guy has some Italian charm. His eyes are like dark chocolate orbs that I could look at all night long. He was very sweet, a little shy, and had big man hands!! (woot!) He drove down from PA to see me, which I thought was pretty sweet so next time we plan to do something I guess I'll drive up there. It's only fair, right?

There's a lot going on with my right now. I have 2 dates lined up for this weekend. And I'm talking to some seemingly really nice guys. I don't want anything romantic to happen right now but it's nice to hear how cute I am. :) It does wonders for the ego, the one that was terribly, terribly deflated after my most recent relationship. I'm cute, goddamnit!! And I'm glad I'm finally well enough in my head now that I can admit to it. Feels so great.

BUT with that cuteness always comes something. I don't know what it is (the Italian's dad is a dentist and he told me medicine) but my damn 2 front teeth are turning white, and it's spreading to the teeth next to it. It was like 1/3 white yesterday (it magically appeared over night) and now I wake up today and they're like 2/3 white. I'm like...what the hell??? So I don't want to smile anymore for fear of freaking people out which would in turn freak me out. Is it my toxic sick breath that's turning them white? Did I drink too much flouride and now it's coming back to haunt me?? Are my teeth in the beginning stages of decaying?? Or is it indeed because of some fucking medicine that I took? I don't know, but it's freaking me out either way. Teeth aren't really something you can hide. I feel like Quazy Moto...and I don't even think I spelled the poor guy's name right. The Italian said that with a cleaning it would go away...god i hope so.

I need to take this time to say that Coal has been harassing me for the past 5 minutes to tell everyone he says hello.

Ok, that's all, I need to try to get some breakfast down my sore and stuffed up throat. Wish me luck that I can get out of class early today and take Sarah with me. :)

Byes.

To take the words from Eminem:

You don't know how sick you make me
You make me fucking sick to my stomach
Every time I think of you I puke
You must not know
You may not think you do, but you do
Every time I think of you I puke.




One a different note:

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. :)

So I went to Sarah's sex toy party last night...I spent a butt load of money on 3 vibrators, a whip (in case I ever decide I want a man in my bedroom again), A warming gel in 2 flavors (again if I ever decide I want a man in my bedroom again), some X-cream which is supposed to make your clit feel REALLY good, some shaving lotion and sex toy cleaner. So I come home and I was thinking "Damn I don't know if I have any batteries." As I walk into my bedroom I put my purchases down and open a drawer in my container next to my bed...and what do I see? A brand new pack of batteries!! It was a message from God so I had to obey. I ripped those things open and put my batteries in. I cleaned my toys and went to town.

Now...my G-wiz is a weird looking thing...but DAMN is it good!! It has 2 bullets one for the inside and one for the outside area. The upside down J curved dildo was absolutely the right place and I came within seconds with the most incredible body moving orgasm I've ever had. O M G!! It was so great. So I've decided if I'm ever feeling a little sorry that I'm not in "love" like everyone else around me, I'll just take out my new best friend, G-wiz, and he'll take me on a natural high. It will be glorious.

That's all!! Bye!!